Breastfeeding... baba... baba... blah

Updated: Nov 20, 2021

Let me start by saying breastfeeding is amazing and I love it very much. I know there are plenty of women out there that are unable, and I couldn't imagine what that would be like, and my heart goes out to them.

Now that I have that out of the way I am currently breastfeeding my 3rd child. I have precious pictures of each of them while nursing and bonding. It is such an amazing experience and I wish that people accepted it more than they do. But we all know what society does to certain things. Anyway, that is my Arabella born March of this year 2021.

Every breastfeeding journey is different just like every pregnancy is different. Meaning individually as a person each experience will be different. I asked a woman that was expecting shortly after I had Bella if she planned on nursing, she said no. It was so crazy to hear what came next. I said oh? why not? I thought for sure she would give a reasonable answer like having to go back to work or something like that. But no, she told me that her mom couldn't get her to latch as a baby, so she automatically just wasn't even going to try! I was sad to hear her say that to say the least and tried to tell her that had nothing to do with if she would be able to or not.

My first-born baby Addison I didn't really have any issues. My babies are all small and not knowing much then I was told I had to supplement with formula, so I did. Other than that, I didn't have many issues with her even though later I would learn that she was pretty tongue tied and I was able to nurse just fine! Only problem I ran into with her is she loved and wanted food. She ended up going on boob strike and only would eat food at 6 months. I was sad and depressed for about 2 weeks. I simply wasn't ready to stop nursing yet. I got over it and actually was working for a startup that made breastfeeding products. So, I learned a lot about breastfeeding, and I was gonna nail it next time for sure!

My second baby Anastasia god love her, she was very tongue tied and therefore very colicky. My nipples hurt so bad, and I was a zombie. Again, went to the doctor and they said if you don't get her weight up, I was going to have to supplement. I was determined I pumped nonstop set timers every 2 hours to feed her, but she was still miserable. I tried everything gripe water bought an expensive mat that vibrated and no relief. It didn't matter if it was a bottle or my breast, she was taking too much air because of her latch and tongue tie. I felt defeated and was soon going back to work.

A week before I was going back to work, I ended up passing a kidney stone and had to go to the ER which totally screwed up my supply and I had to build it back up. So, guess what? You guessed it, I had to start supplementing again. I finally said to my husband I need help I am delirious and haven't slept in days. At this point we decided to have her tongue lasered to correct the tongue tie. However, they couldn't do it for a bit and by the time she would have the procedure she was three and a half months old. My husband and I were trading taking turns every other night. We had her tongue lasered and finally relief!

At this point I was only doing one bottle of formula a day and the rest was all expressed at work. Then, at night was the only time she actually went to breast. It surely is a challenge at work to pump all of the time, but I am so glad I stuck it through and did it. Anastasia was breastfed until 11 months.

That brings us to my last little bundle of joy Arabella. We were prepared and ready to deal with another tongue tie but what ended up happening we were not prepared for. She was born and we were looking for the tongue tie and as she does have a slight one that is not where the issue lies with this baby. Bella has a predominate lip tie. she also really likes to mash down on my nipples essentially, she gum bites my nipples. Even though she is little it is one of the most painful things ever.

She started out taking a bottle ok, and then one day just decided to stop. Soon after that I stopped pumping because I had so much milk just sitting in my freezer or going bad if I didn't freeze it. For any fellow breastfeeding mom out there you know that breastmilk, that shit is liquid gold. So, as it stands right now, I've tried five different bottles even ones that were said to be best for breastfed babies and not one has worked. She pretty much uses me as a human pacifier and that is not all. She also thinks she has to eat every one to two hours or she's never going to be fed again because if my boob is not in her mouth, she loses her mind. This baby is the loudest and cries the most out of all three of them even though Stasia cried a lot from cholic.

My husband is gearing up to deploy and I am going to be with these three beautiful girls by myself. Luckily, I will be close to family and will have great support. But I'll tell you this for my sanity I need to have more than 2 hours away from my kids and have some me time.

Sleep is nonexistent for me; Bella wakes me up a minimum of once a night, but it is usually more than that. Not to mention she doesn't go to sleep until about midnight. So, one sleepless night I came across this bottle with a special nipple. It happens to be my last-ditch effort to some sort of a break from having this baby attached to me.

I want to keep breastfeeding and I hope to nurse for at least one year. But this momma.... she needs a break. All the reviews I read the women were in tears when their baby took it because they were going back to work, and they didn't know what else they would do. I expect mine to be here on Saturday and I am really praying this is the one that finally works for me too. I may even cry like the others. I plan on either coming back to make an edit and review how it goes. Or I'll write a follow up blog just on this bottle just have to see what the results end up being. If you are reading this, send me good vibes cause momma needs a stiff drink for sure but not if I have to feed baby in a couple of hours!

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